It’s a mere two days before one of
the potentially biggest shows of your entire career: a live performance and
radio interview in Times Square,
New York City. Your non-refundable
flight is scheduled to leave early the next day in the AM. You wake up and your
back is completely out of whack. It hurts to move your arm and shoulder
(naturally the side with which you strum the guitar). It hurts to move your
neck in every direction, other than keeping it stationary to the right side
(which makes singing or any bodily motion, as you can imagine, quite
difficult). Your chiropractic office is closed and there are no emergency
clinics in the area that can deal with your situation. If you snake out of this
opportunity, you know you’ll likely never get another one comparable…in other
words, “the show”, as they say, “must go on.”
This, my friends, happened to me and can entirely be
attributed to an injury I incurred several years ago, during my band days, from
trying to carry five guitars simultaneously (we were in a rush!): a combined
weight which exceeds my total body mass. Need I also mention, I’m only 26!
So what’s the lesson here? As a creator – an artist of
anything – your health is vital as it affects not only your performance, but
also your inspiration, motivation, attitude, and overall demeanour. Therefore,
I’d like to impart onto you the necessity of taking care of yourself, while
taking care of business.
Now, it goes without saying that professional musicianship
and healthy living don’t exactly form what one would term the most “natural” of
marriages. While the promotion of excesses in stimulation (both sexually and
substance-assisted) is something that goes hand-in-hand with the r’n’r image
(for better or for worse), life on the road, further, isn’t particularly
conducive to optimal functioning.
For starters, especially if you’re touring the States as I
primarily do, trying to find inexpensive places to eat that offer nutritious
food options…well good luck. Because, in my experience, the typical musician is
not that well-equipped navigationally-speaking, time is not a luxury that is on
your side when you’re commuting from gig to gig. What this means is that if you
find an opportunity to gorge on gas station energy bars and Red Bulls, you’ll likely take it.
The second major health dilemma that the touring artist
encounters (ie: lack of sleep) is directly associated with the craft in which
we engage. I don’t know how many of you have attended live shows and then
attempted to go to bed directly afterwards, but trying to combat the ringing in
your ears, not to mention the adrenaline that’s pumping through your veins is
no easy feat. Just imagine how much more amplified (pardon the pun) these
effects are when you are the one onstage.
Finally, the real killer…stress. From dealing with asshole
promoters that try to screw you over, to last minute gig changes, to technical
difficulties (which seem to abound!), honestly when you weigh the 45 minutes of
euphoria you experience on stage against all of the shit you had to go through
in order to get there, it’s doesn’t always seem worthwhile.
It doesn’t take a health expert to tell ya that when you
combine the above three factors you end up in a situation where your immune
system is weakened creating the perfect opportunity for the common cold (or
worse, such as in my case) to take over. While I’ve seen many an
instrumentalist “just rock past it”, it’s quite difficult to not sound like a
drowning cat when you’re hacking up phlegm and can’t breathe out of your nose. Irrespective
of your weapon of choice, I think the vast majority of you’d agree that when
you’re feeling unwell, your ideal destination consists of a warm bed, with both
Kleenex and a puke bucket on-hand, and a strict IV of chicken noodle soup and
Gingerale, as opposed to a smelly touring van. The point?
Life on the road is hard and contrary to popular belief
UNglamourous – there’s no need for sugar-coating -- but you can make it harder
or easier on yourself by simply knowing what you’re getting into, and preparing
accordingly in advance.
If you don’t wish to find yourself with a bad case of
the sniffles or having to face the reality that you’ve got a show you must play
and you’re currently less than 100% mobile, I recommend you take to heart the
following suggestions:
1)
Don’t overexert yourself EVER! I don’t care if you’re
in a rush. If experience tells me anything, it’s that gigs NEVER start on time,
nor do soundchecks. I was told by my chiropractor that had I not started
getting adjusted when I did that by the time I was 40, I would have been in a
wheelchair. Not cool or very “r’n’r” is it?
2)
Pack nutritious snacks whenever possible, and avoid
sugary and highly caffeinated drinks at all costs. Water, surprise surprise,
can be quite the thirst quencher and there’s nothing like a piece of mango, or
pineapple to give you that extra energy kick you need (without the risk of
addiction or crashing!)
3)
Save your partying for when you’re at home. I know many
a musician that likes to celebrate their gig successes by getting trashed
directly after. However, considering that there is usually little downtime from
show to show, this means you end up in situations where you either have people
driving while at least partially intoxicated (VERY illegal and VERY dangerous)
or people playing while trying to kick an ugly hangover. Further, alcohol and other
“substances” don’t tend to bring out the best or most sound judgement in
people. When you’re crammed in a limited area for long stretches on the road,
the last thing you need is an excuse to get into a fight.
4)
Take shifts driving so that everyone gets a chance for
some shut-eye. Further, spread out your gigs and always give yourself extra
time (particularly if you’re crossing the border) so you’re never in a rush.
5)
Get contracts (backed by the musician’s union to ensure
legal protection) for EVERYTHING. You can never be TOO prepared as they say.
6)
Plot out your directions well in advance and gain
familiarity with your route (check for construction and possible weather
threats that may require a change in plans as well); even better, get yourself
a GPS.
7)
Learn how to cope with adversity. Meditate. Deep
breathe. Scream if you have to! Just find some way to deal with it all that
doesn’t hurt yourself, your band’s reputation, or others.
8)
Don’t pick up random groupies. No, this isn’t your
mother speaking, but let’s be real people, sexually transmitted diseases are
widespread (including many that have permanent or terminal effects). Moreover,
finding out you’ve got a kid from some one night stand is so passé. Finally,
it’s frankly dangerous. Being in a foreign locale with a lot of expensive gear
on ya makes you an easy mark. There’s nothing wrong with meeting new people,
and engaging with your fans, but put some limitations on things - keep your
equipment in your pants.
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